Doing a registry for baby #3 was difficult for me. By this time around, I already know that most of the stuff they try to tell you that you need, you really don't. Really, the only thing a newborn needs is milk, diapers, and a carseat. And the baby will find his preference for the exact opposite of whatever you buy first. And most of it becomes obsolete after three months when baby has moved on to the next phase if it doesn't break or get lost first.
Also, I've been in denial most of this pregnancy. It wasn't until I started having difficulty moving around that it hit me: Our house isn't ready for a baby yet! I was diligent in keeping all of the kids' baby and toddler clothes packed and organized in our storage unit. We have the crib/playard and carseat. But everything else, we pretty much purged when we were sure our family was complete.
I've been asked by a lot of my friends over the last several years about various baby products as they registered for their growing bundles of joy. I always restrain from the urge to tell them "you don't need any of that crap" and share my experience with the winners and losers in the battle for my bucks.
As I once again register for my own baby, I write about what I've learned about baby gear:
CAR SEATS: We got our first infant car seat as part of a "travel system" that has a carseat and stroller combo for $99 at the BX. It was adequate for the most part, but as baby grew, the carrier got heavier and I usually opted to just leave it in the car and carry baby in my arms or sling.
Vehicle operations required that the carry handle be pushed all the way back and locked, which required the front seat to be pushed all the way forward. Front seat passengers (ie my slightly larger than average husband) were uncomfortable and annoyed. Lesson 1: make sure the carseat fits in your car. Babies R Us and Target will let you drive your car to the curb and see if the floor model carseat fits before you buy it. You'll probably also want to purchase a second base unit for dad or grandma's car.
Most state laws requre baby to remain rear-facing in a 5-point harness until 20 pounds AND 1 year of age, but the infant carrier seats are usually outgrown by then, requiring another purchase. When baby/toddler grows again, you move to a booster seat with a headrest, and then again to a backless booster when toddler grows to a preschooler. Lesson 2: Save money with a convertable carseat that grows with the baby. We use this one that goes from zero to 100 pounds, is rear and forward facing, and converts to a booster with the regular seatbelt.
Another tip: read, follow, and don't throw away the instructions. After several months, it's handy to know how to remove all the cloth parts to wash them. After a year or more, you'll have to figure out how to convert it properly. After baby #2 arrives, you'll want to know how to get it back to the infant configuration.
[Soap box rant: People, please please please, don't become complacent with carseat safety. The likelihood that you'll be in a fatal crash is low, but this is the EASIEST way to ensure your baby's safety in the event of a crash. An extra minute of precaution with the buckles and harnesses will save you a lifetime of regret in the event of a crash. And don't feel pressured to move up to the next seat just because your baby has reached an age or weight milestone. If he or she is still comfortable in the smaller more restrictive seat, it's probably safer anyway.]
STROLLERS: Our first stroller was part of the "travel system." It was adequate. Chloe enjoyed riding in it. It was easy to maneuver, had adequate storage space underneath and cupholders at the handle. The cons: folding and unfolding it wasn't a quick ordeal. Hopping on/off public transporation was a 2-person task. It was heavy to lift into and out of the trunk, and especially moreso after baby #2 arrived. It also took up a lot of room in the vehicle.
After baby could sit unassisted and didn't require eleven changes of clothing in a heavy diaper bag, we switched to the umbrella stroller. Once baby was walking, the umbrella stroller doubled as a push-walker, which was good most of the time. The cons of the umbrella stroller is that it was so lightweight, we couldn't hang anything on the handles without it tipping backward, so it's not practical if you're going to need extra cargo room.
After baby #2 came, we tried out a double stroller so that both kids could ride. I ultimately hated it. All the cons of the regular stroller were magnified. It was extra heavy to lift, extra time consuming to collapse/configure, half as maneuverable, and took up extra room in the trunk. Most of the time, my older one wanted to get out and walk anyway, and the front seat became a place for my companions to throw their purses and merchandise as we shopped. I became the pusher of other people's stuff rather than a chic mom of two. HATED IT.
One thing I do love is my red wagon. Once baby/toddler/preschooler can sit unassisted, the wagon was a much better choice for double kid duty. It's easier for them to get in and out of (because they can never make up their minds whether they want to ride or walk). And it's okay if everyone piles their stuff into it and the kid can pull it without running into people.
HIGHCHAIRS: I'm a minimalist. I like getting as much product for as little money that will last a long time, not take up a lot of space, and possibly allow the child to do things for himself. That's why I was never a fan of the big stand-alone highchairs. They have a large footprint in the kitchen/dining room and for the life of the product, require adult assistance. I much prefer a smaller booster chair with a tray. It straps to a regular dining room chair and functions just like a large highchair, but eventually the kid can belly-up to the regular dining table. This allows the child to sooner become a part of regular family meals. When the child is bigger, he or she can crawl into it without assistance. Another bonus: they're portable so you can eat at restaurants and friends' houses.
BASSINETTE: If you already have a crib and/or playard, a bassinette is really not needed. During the first few weeks, we liked to keep our baby bedside which minimized travel time for 2am feedings. But the playard has a perfectly adequate bassinette attachment which has a higher service weight/length than a standard basinette. The only thing better about the bassinette is that it's pretty.
PLAYARDS: I love love love my Graco Pack N Play that I got second-hand from somewhere. However, I really don't think the brand or features really matter. Some have a built in diaper changer or bassinette or diaper stacker or whatever. Some come in designs that match the rest of your nursery. As long as it has a firm bottom support and mesh sides, you're good. Personally, I like the bassinette feature so I don't have to bend down so far to deposit a sleeping infant, but it's just a feature.
BATHTIME: We've been through a couple baby bath tubs. For various reasons, each has been irksome. When baby is first born, they've all been too big and baby slides down the backrest. I thought I'd get smart with #2 and try one of those foam inserts. Worked well, but quickly became ratty and shredded. I also tried the little hammock thing that sits in the regular bath tub, but filling the bath tub for such a little person was a waste. The first tub we had also had a grow with me feature to help baby sit upright in the regular bath tub, but she slid down and hit her girlie parts on the safety bar. And no matter which product you use, it will always be a pain to lean over the side of the tub. Lesson 3: Don't spend a lot of money here. Rather, invest in ways to make leaning over the tub a little easier or safer.
Another thing is bathtime entertainment. My kids love their bath and I don't mind having a million toys in there. But what I do hate is after the bath when they let the water out, all the toys sit and get mucky and cold. We tried the toy nets that stick to the sides of the wall, but that gets mucky too. Our current system is just a small plastic basket.
About bath products: You can fall prey to all the cute baby commercials that say their product makes your life more blissful. Seriously, it's shampoo, people. If baby has sensitivities or eczema, we liked Aveeno oatmeal products, but otherwise, there's no reason to not buy the store brand at Costco or Sams. And our babies really didn't need a lot of lotion or oil or powder. The stuff smells nice, but we probably are still using the same bottle of lotion from when Roman was born.
Hoodie towels are cute, but there's no reason baby can't use one of your regular bath towels. Baby sized wash cloths were okay, but because they're so small and thin, they quickly become worn out and ratty.
DIAPERING: We chose disposable diapers, so I can't speak anything for cloth diapers. But whatever you choose, DO NOT SKIMP OUT HERE. We buy our diapers in bulk at Costco/Sams, but we always go for name-brand. The few times I thought about being cheap were just miserable experiences. The tabs don't unfold, stretch, or latch as well. The elastic around the leg is shoddy. And they aren't as absorbent so baby gets a rash easier. Blow outs are inevitable, but spending a few extra pennies on a quality diaper can minimize them. [Tip: when diapering, don't forget to pull the leg ruffles out of the elastic. Forgetting to check almost guarantees you a leak or blowout.]
Thoughts on diaper wipes: The cheap wipes have alcohol in the solution. Under normal circumstances, the alcohol helps dry the area quicker, but if baby has a rash, it burns. On the other side of the spectrum, the premium wipes are thicker and have lotion or aloe, but are really expensive to stock considering the rate that they're used, so I usually only get them when baby has a raw tooshie. I personally don't think the wipe warmers are necessary. Actually, I laugh at them the same way I laugh at a bidet.
You'll want some system of organizing the diapers nearby so that you can have one hand on your wiggly baby and one hand doing all the work. A nearby diaper stacker or basket is handy, just remember your little stationery infant will soon be reaching and rolling, so keep the stack within yours but out of his reach. [Another tip: never take the dirty diaper off before you have a new one unfolded and in place first. Doing otherwise will guarantee that you get peed or pooped on while you fumble for the new diaper, especially if you have a little boy.]
Powders and creams: Baby powder can trap moisture and lead to a UTI and also chaffes. We never really used it. We didn't really use creams at every changing, but when it was needed, our preference was for Boudreaux's Butt Paste. It worked well and was fun to say. I've also used Desitin, but I think it burned the rash more than anything.
Diaper disposal: Back in the old days, you know, when we were babies, all our parents had was the regular kitchen trash. Now, most stores sell two solutions: the Diaper Genie or the Diaper Champ. Because I'm cheap, I went for the Diaper Champ because it doesn't require specialty bag refills. Turns out, it was a good choice because after messing with friends' Diaper Genies, the Champ contains odors better and is easier to operate with one hand. Another great product are the scented baggies to dispose of the diapers when you're at your friends' houses. Before you go shopping, watch this video. Not only is it REALLY freakin funny, but it is actually a good review of various products:
POTTY CHAIRS: This is one thing you don't want to register for because the preferences and personality of your child should determine which potty chair you get. And this is unknown until you're ready to start potty training. That being said, when the time is right, there are a lot of choices. With our first, a girl who was ready before she was 2, we bought a 3-in-1 potty chair that worked as a stand alone potty chair with removable bowl. The seat part came off and attached to the regular potty and the bottom could double as a step stool by the sink. It was great and worked very well for her. When #2, a boy, came along, this chair was unfit. All the attachments and seat and lit were just distractions for him. He pulled the splash guard off and ended up peeing across the room most of the time too. We then purchased one with fewer parts and a built-in splash guard that couldn't come off.
CARRIERS: Before the age when your child will look both ways before crossing the street, you'll need some way to carry him or her around. The first is the big infant carrier seat. The second choice is a soft carrier or sling that you wear. I've been through a couple of these things. The first was kind of like this thing that I thought was going to be great. You can wear it on the front or back of you; baby can face in or out. But it turned out to be not so great. The seat area was too wide for a small baby's hips. The shoulder straps criss-crossed in the back which was supposed to take some of the load off your shoulders, but made it cumbersome to get on and off. And it didn't take any load off the shoulders. I switched to a Moby wrap which is amazing. Love it. It really does take the weight off your shoulders, and is very versatile in the ways you can wear it. I found a website that shows you how to make your own and now I make them as gifts because I love mine so much. The only only drawback is that it takes a little practice to learn how to tie it. But once you learn it, it's so worth it.
BABY CHAIRS: There are a host of options between swings, bouncy seats, and upright seats. If you have people willing to buy one for you, definitely go for it, but just know that each is designed for a different phase of development and will be quickly outgrown. I put them all in the category of ways to prop your baby before he or she can sit unassisted.
First, lets talk about swings. I have the same opinion about swings as high chairs. They usually take up space and are quickly outgrown. However, there are times when that's the only place baby will nap, so they're highly useful. Don't blow a fortune on it because you never know if your baby will love it or hate it. And keep the receipt. Make sure if it makes sounds, it's something you can listen to over and over and over and over without losing your mind. Our second swing was a smaller "portable" swing that I really liked. It wasn't as bulky and folded away when not in use. The drawback to that one was you weren't supposed to use it on an elevated surface like a table, which required stooping down real low to get baby in and out.
Bouncy Seats: We got ours at a garage sale. It's far more simple and plain than anything they sell in the stores anymore, but my kids loved it just the same. I don't think you need a lot of wiz bang attachments here. Maybe a simple toy bar to keep baby occupied long enough for you to shower or strain the spaghetti.
Upright Seats: I'm talking about the Bumbo seat and it's ilk. We never owned one because they were really expensive when my kids were small, but they've really come down in price since then. Roman used one at his daycare and really liked it. Great for babies who need to see what you're doing all the time.
SAFETY: [Disclaimer! There is no excuse for not watching your kid. Doesn't matter how well you've babyproofed, they will find something to break or something to get hurt on. Watch your kids, people!]
Another thing you should hold off on registering for is babyproofing items. There are some universal things that probably won't hurt to get ahead of time like outlet covers, baby gates, and doorknob covers. But most of the stuff, you should wait to see what kind of things your child gets into. Our first liked to get into the lower cabinets, so we got the cabinet locks where you have to open the door a crack and push the lever down. It took her maybe a week to figure those things out and then they were useless. Her daycare used the magnetic kind which are probably better for clever babies like mine. We had just a couple cabinets with knobs and were able to successfully employ the lock straps on those. She also figured out how to remove the crib rail guards and they became chew toys. I was also worried that she'd fall and bonk her head on the sharp corners of our coffee table, so I bought corner guards. She never fell or hit her head on the table, but the corner guards dry-rotted over time and left a permanent residue on the table. She liked to turn the knobs on the oven/stove, so we put covers over them. But when pulled, the whole knob comes off inside the covers. So we just ended up keeping the knobs off and out of reach. We tried using the things to keep the cords for our blinds all raveled up and out of reach, but I guess our blinds had more cord than the things were designed for and they never stayed together. She never really played in the bathroom, so we didn't get anything like the toilet latch or anti-scald devices. Actually, we had a baby gate that kept her out of that part of the house all together.
Baby Monitors: Guess what? As much as you like admire your sweet bundle of joy while he or she sleeps, you don't HAVE to. We were lucky when our firstborn started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old. I was paranoid and often checked to make sure she was still breathing. Whenever she made a peep, I was right there to soothe her back to sleep. The the reality was, I was actually disturbing her more than anything. Turns out, babies make all kinds of squeaks and noises in their sleep. They even open and flutter their eyes while they dream. I had to move her to the other room because I realized that what I thought was her waking up was just her dreaming. But when I picked her up to rock her, I was actually waking her up. This is why I think the video monitor is overkill. If your baby needs you, he or she will cry. But even then, not all cries mean they need you. It will take a few weeks for you and your baby to learn to communicate with each other. When you are able to restrain yourself from rushing in at every peep, you actually learn which cries mean, "Mommy come here now!" and which cries are just the baby soothing herself back to sleep. Our son moaned himself to sleep. We said he was "singing." The plain old audio monitor is sufficient for when you're out of ears reach, but you really don't need to be cribside all the time. Go get your life back while baby naps.
First Aid: A newborn has very sharp fingermails which will probably need to be trimmed before you even leave the hospital. Our son seriously clawed his face apart. They make teeny little infant nail clippers, but it's still easy to nip it too closely and snip their skin. I've heard some moms just bite the fingernails off with their own teeth at first, but if you have the clippers handy, you can get them while they nap and their hands aren't moving.
Beware the baby first aid kits. If you read most of the product labels, the medicines are for ages 2 and up. Not helpful when your 6 month old is running a fever and had goo in his nose. Those kits also often come with an aspirator bulb, but the hospital sends you home with one for free. You'll want a good thermometer though. We found one that was in a pacifier, so you could get an accurate oral reading while baby sucked on it. For babies that refuse a pacifier like my daughter, we dabbed a bit of karo syrup on it which made it interesting just long enough to get a reading. The armpit thermometers always left me guessing on accuracy because I could never get the same reading twice. I also had a pacifier shaped medicine dispenser which rocked the socks off the traditional syringe style medicine droppers. With the latter, baby would have an automatic reflex to reject whatever was being squirted in his or her mouth.
And a baby's rear end is always doing something. When not making solid messes, it's processing said messes. Which means gas. Which is painful to work its way through those tiny intestines. There are lots of non medicated ways to ease the bubbles out, but sometimes it doesn't hurt to medicate. Mylecon drops and/or Gripe Water are great, so stick some of that on your registry.
SANITIZERS: While you don't want to trot your newborn through WalMart or Laguardia Airport, most sanitizers are laughable to me. They have a saying that you can tell a first-time mom from one with several kids. The first time mom washes everything. When the pacifier falls on the floor, she puts it away until it's thoroughly re-sterilized. The veteran mom wipes it on her jeans and pops it back in baby's mouth. A few germs won't kill your baby. In fact, a few germs are good for building the immune system. A good washing with soap and water is sufficient for most products.
FEEDING PRODUCTS: Bottles: We've been through a bunch of these and there are so many different kinds to choose from. There are ones that minimize air bubbles, but the down side is that they have so many parts to clean. There are ones that try to mimic the natural shape of the breast for babies that are primarily breastfed. I'm a big fan of those, but even most of those aren't completely accurate. There are ones for older babies that no longer have problems with gas or breastmilk. Then there is the plethora of bottle nipples. My ultimate advice is not to register for too many in the beginning until you know your baby's needs. This time, we're starting with The First Years Breastflow bottles. It's as close as I've seen to the action a breastfed baby will employ when getting it from the source. We also use the Avent bottles and move up to the Avent sippy cups (which have interchangable nipple/sippy fixtures). In the past, we've also used the "disposable" bottles which are great once we move to formula or cows milk because it cuts the cleaning time. I've used the vented playtex nursers with the crooked neck. No extra benefit there, btw.
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